Wednesday, November 23, 2011

i told someone something about me today, something that they hadn't known before. i'm sure that it doesn't matter much to them but i can't help but feel that i've put an incredible about of weight on them. that i  threw some unpleasant feelings upon them. and its not really "this" person that bothers me but that one day i will meet new people and they will think that me and my kids are a cute little family; then they will learn little bits of what has happened to us, what the sick jim did to me, what my adorable little kids saw. then, they will feel unpleasant emotions. this makes me feel ill, that the hurts of my past will hurt others who care about us in the future.

2 comments:

  1. But maybe that new person will react with compassion and appreciation for how you coped with everything since then. Maybe they will be shocked at how sad and unfair the world can be, and yet how bright and responsible YOU are. And maybe they will see how your scars make you more beautiful.

    X and OXO to you 3 today.

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  2. (((hugs to you three)))
    From us three in NJ.
    Your children are beautiful and so are you to be able to share your journey with us others on the widows path. There has to be people that will see us as more beautiful because of our scars like Supa Dupa Fresh said. I live with the knowledge my sharing causes others pain...so conflicted about how much to share the pain of my living with others that can not fathom being without their loved ones. Starting to get easier because I am trying to feel gratitude for what I had and like you what we made(two beautiful children) So many others on the planet never get that.

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